Life

The need to remember

What most people probably don’t know when they bring their vehicle in to have repairs done – is all that goes into making sure the right diagnosis is made, the correct parts are ordered, and the right parts picked up – all within a certain amount of time to satisfy the customer.  More often than not, I am calling double checking to make sure our parts were ordered.  Last week – a tour company who we have been working with this summer called.  Their bus was down and they needed the parts.  In two days.

Island life is interesting in that, when parts arent available – it usually takes about 2 or 3 days to get them here.  There is no running down the street to a different company.  And since this was a tour bus we were talking about, and expensive parts that were needed – they wouldn’t just come from our local parts dealer.  A frantic few hours ensued as we all scrambled to find the parts.  After getting the ok from the company to order the parts, I placed the order.

Since the parts were needed in a short amount of time, I didn’t have time to wait around for them to mess up the order two or three times before getting it right, and since the parts were taking an overnight flight up here – I needed to make sure that they were A) Correct and B) Actually coming.  I made about a dozen phone calls to verify, reconfirm, double check, ask again, and just to be sure.  The following morning – after not hearing back from the company the previous night, and panicking that I had messed it up good this time, we got the phone call that the parts were at the airport – awaiting pick up.

They also wanted to know if we wanted them to deliver them.   But since we were on a tight schedule, and have never had good luck with delivery from our regular parts store – I figured we would take matters into our own hands, and ensure we got the parts ourselves.  A trip to the airport.  A ride on the ferry.  Only to find out – that the delivery company had beat us to it – and the parts were on their way to be delivered.  I was then frantic.  So many things could go wrong – the parts were not in our hands, and we had no idea where they were.

By the time we got back to the shop – there was a message on the answering machine that they had tried delivering – but we weren’t there.  Infact, we were in town trying to get the very same parts they were trying to deliver!

Last night, after getting the parts, I started to think about the situation, and felt a bit bad that I hadn’t trust the parts company, the airlines, or the delivery company to do their jobs – and instead ran around like a frantic squirrel trying to gather ALL THE NUTS before winter and failing to do so.

And then it hit me.

The comparison between the silly days events – and my life.

I am constantly striving to be in control of my life.  Chasing my tail to no end, trying frantically to make everything work, and never stopping to realize – Hey – someones got this.  I don’t have to worry.  I don’t need to be frantic.  I don’t need to run around like a fool.  Someone.  Has got this.

God is in control.  Even when I have moments of clarity and ideas and am in control of one small aspect – God is still in control.  Even when I am floundering wondering HOW this is going to work out – Hes got this.  I don’t need to worry.  I need to do my job, yes.  I need to be passionate and pursue those things that I am supposed to.  But I don’t need to go out of control and try to fit the pieces that don’t fit and then freak out when something doesn’t go my way.

I cant see the bigger picture.  I don’t know what needs to happen.  I need to stop.  To realize that I am NOT in control, relax and realize – I don’t HAVE to be in control.  I don’t have to constantly strive to make it all work.  He is in control, making things work better than I could have EVER hoped or imagined, and I know this.  I have seen this.  Time and time and TIME again.  Yet I still selfishly hold onto the imaginary thought that if I just keep pushing myself to the limit.  If I just keep doing all that I can to make EVEYRTHING work, then somehow it will be ok.

When really?  It already is ok!

While I don’t think there is anything wrong with being passionate about goals and life, and striving to be better at something – I need to draw the line and realize that no matter how much I try – I will never be in control, I never NEED to be in control, and I never have to worry – Because its already been taken care of.  All my fitful flutters are completely worthless.  They do nothing but wear me down.

Its already been taken care of.  I don’t have to worry.  On those days when it just doesn’t seem to be enough, and the worry about the day to day tasks are extreme, and the weight of the world is sitting there, just remember…

God is in control.  And always will be.  No matter what.

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