Thoughts

It Is Enough

I have never been what one would call, a patient person. In fact -I am probably the definition of an UNpatient person. I often pray for patience -only to quickly realize my mistake. If anyone has doubts that God doesn’t answer prayers -just as for patience. He might not give you patience, but He will give you plenty of opportunities to work on building it up. But I digress.

Patience is not a virtue I yet to possess, and as a result, I am constantly being given opportunities to Stop. Trust. Wait. Believe.

I am ashamed to admit that I tend to operate on the terms of -praying, praying very hard for direction and answers, seeking His will, asking for His guidance -and then when I see what I assume is the opening in the clouds, I jump off my knees and run full tilt towards whatever shadow of hope I thought I saw. Most times, that ends about as well as it sounds it would.

I end up making a big mess of things and come crawling back -learning once again that life spent continually seeking HIS will and not mine -is the only way to live. You’d think by now, that 27 years into things -I would have this down. I have seen -over and over and over and over -countless times, Him providing, preparing, giving -in His time. Not mine. His will and His timing is not something I can rush or change. Nor should I. He doesn’t operate on a clock -He is not held down to time. He is not limited to my world. He holds the ENTIRE world (and universe) in His hands.

Which is where I get boggled.

See, I have no problem believing that He has this. This world, this universe, the entire plan -everything. Those big things. The things I cannot see or understand -sure, He’s got it. But these smaller things? My life? My wants and needs and desires and hopes and dreams and struggles? Why would He bother this those? After all, if I were God -I wouldn’t have time for those piddly things. After all -Can’t I see already: He’s got it all. Why do I worry anyways?

Oh, the simple mind of myself.

When things happen (as they often do), in a way that I wasn’t expecting (as they often do), I am tempted to think that He dropped the ball. He is too busy keeping all those stars in order -that He doesn’t really have time for me. He forgot about me. He doesn’t remember that -Hello? I’m down here. Making a giant mess of my life. But in truth -He hasn’t. He hasn’t forgotten anything. Or anyone. In fact, the things that have happened in my life -be it a direct result of my simply screw up -or an ordained moment that stopped me from messing things up even MORE -are all in His plan.

He’s god this.

In a week when my life seems like it is in shambles -like I have really, really, really messed it up good this time, that there is nothing good left here for me, that I am simply drowning (in self-pity?) He is there. He knows my heartache and my pain. He knows that I am struggling. But it isn’t for nothing. Because even thought I can’t see the purpose for all this pain (Which in the whole scheme of things -is really, nothing. In the light of the worlds events -my problems don’t even begin to register as problems), He is still there. He is still in charge. He hasn’t forgotten me -although perhaps, I have forgotten Him.

His plans are just that -His. Who am I to try and direct them?

While it certainly is true -life hurts, instead of viewing these troubles and trials as personal digs at me, as a reminder that He has, in fact, forgotten me -why can’t I choose to view them as Him perfecting His work in me? He said no. That should be enough for me.

He said wait.

He said not yet.

He said no.

I can choose to throw myself on the ground and throw a fit (I am good at that) or I can say “Yes Lord.” And be content -knowing that while I may not get the answer I thought I wanted -perhaps He said no because He knows that wasn’t right for me. It wasn’t in His plans for my life -and His answer -should be more than enough.

He’s got this. No doesn’t mean He has forgotten me. It means He cares enough to say no. TO deny what I think I want, because His plans are much bigger than mind.

I don’t know what He’s got in store for me -I don’t know if He will ever say “yes” to my pleading, but I do know this: He’s got this. I can rest in that. I don’t need to know why. I don’t need to seek answers. I don’t need to be upset. This is the path He has for me -and that?

Is enough.

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Animals, Life

Round Three!

I guess it’s safe to say I enjoy a challenge. After successfully completing round one and round two of dog sitting multiple dogs -or, you know, more than a handful of dogs at a time -I upped my game a bit and took on seven dogs. Plus three houses. At one time.

The climax of the whole event went down on Thursday night. Where I had an overlap of everyone at the same time. A little bit of background to make this next story make sense:

1. Two of the owners didn’t know when, exactly, they planned to return and had promised to text Tuesday night.

2. The one house I was staying at didn’t have internet. But it was going to be fine because I had my phone and some extra data -I was going to make my own little WI-FI hub.

All was going well until I went to pack up for the night -and my phone wouldn’t turn on. All attempts turned up void. It was after hours, all the stores were closed and the bottom line was I would be internet-less and phone-less for the night. This might not have been such a big deal -except that I was waiting on some important information from the afore mentioned people and um, don’t mess with my internet connection. Take what you must -but leave the internet.

It was a long night.

I’m pretty sure I have been scarred for life.

But all that aside -and all things considering -it has been going fairly well. That is, if you consider having panic, stress and headaches for two weeks -fairly well. Then yes. Fairly well, indeed. I have, however, come to the conclusion that I am, in fact, more of a six-dog person. Seven is a whole new level of crazy.

Everyone survived and as the last of the dogs head off to their respective homes this week, I am already charting out my next round!

Without further ado, I present to you: Round Three!

Stella:


I’m pretty sure I was told this is an American Lab -whatever she is, she is such a cutie!

Brody:

A newer addition to his family but as sweet as can be! He hates to be left behind -but is a terrible car rider. He doesn’t understand the concept of sitting in his own seat and would prefer to sit on your lap. He loves company.

Lola:

Miss Lola (and Nina) came as a set from the same house. She is a happy dog who never seems to have a bad day.

Nina:

Nina is a bit on the shy side around new people and while she loves to go with you -she hates the car ride part. She prefers to sit under your feet while driving -which makes for an interesting car ride. I had to stop a few times and pull her out because she dove under while I was driving.

Eva:

This one is known as “boss lady” or “queen” at her house -and I suppose it should be easy to see why! She is quite the boss! She is also a show dog -which means she can’t get into any fights while here! She is constantly stealing Hunter’s blankets and pulling them into her crate. Silly thing.

Hunter:

Hunter and Eva also came as a package deal. He always has such a sad look -even when (what’s left of) his tail is wagging! He is a sweet boy. I’m pretty sure he appreciated that Brody came to stay and help balance out the boy/girl ration that is going on here.

…Yoshi!

…and finally, my princess! I haven’t seen much of her lately -with all the house sitting and job bouncing I have been doing! Whenever I dog sit so many dogs, I am always thankful that Yoshi is the one that stays behind. I love the other dogs -but my girl is something special -quirks and all!

Alaska, Animals

Stranded

This last week has seen me traveling 20 miles (one way) each day. Our road is 30 miles long -which pretty much means I have been traveling from one end of the island to the other, at least twice a day. Between working on one side of the island and living on the other -plus various house/dog sitting jobs everywhere in between -I have been putting in a lot of miles.

Sunday, I was in the middle of making my rounds (getting dogs, dropping dogs, getting other dogs) and the gas light blinked on. It indicated I had about 20 miles left before I would be stranded on the side of the road -and not wanting to walk somewhere in the middle of the night, I pulled into the gas station that happened to be right there.
Now I must stop here to say -normally, when I get gas -I leave everything in the car. I am super paranoid about blowing things up, so don’t use my cell phone or carry anything extra. I even will admit to tapping the car every so often to avoid electrical currents or whatever they are that could cause the entire gas station and myself go up in flames.

But this day. I was getting numerous texts about house sitting jobs, and since I am equally paranoid about texting and driving (read: $10,000 fines and jail time), I grabbed my phone when I jumped out of the car. Started the gas, then walked a good distance away to finish up my texting. I got a few gallons of gas (just to make it to where the cheaper gas is), took my card and went to open the door: But it wouldn’t open.

Because the dog had apparently gotten tired of hanging out with me, locked the door then went to sleep.

See? Sound asleep!

It took a few minutes for everything to stack up and for it to hit me: I was locked out of the car. All the windows were up. The dogs were going to be of no assistance -BUT! I had my phone.

The smugness! It’s like he’s saying “Yep, I know what I did!”

I laughed, then called mom.

Who didn’t answer.

I tried another fifty some odd times -to no avail. Just a few hours prior I had turned her cell phone off for her (so it wouldn’t ring in church), we don’t have a phone at home and she wasn’t at the shop. I called a few more times -just for good measure.

I text a few people in town to see if they were in the area. No one answered.

I started to panic.

I emailed Amanda -if for nothing more, to have someone to laugh with me. Because really, what else do you do in a situation like that? I had help -she was just a billion miles away in the UK, so, you know, a lot of good that was going to do me.

But then I remembered: My good friends lived right up the road. Surely they would have a hanger I could borrow! I didn’t know what, exactly, I would do with said hanger -but I figured I would cross that bridge when I got there.
Thankfully they answered my frantic texts and showed up about 15 minutes later with a hanger and a hammer. Because we all know a good hammer works in situations like those too.

Apparently just a few days prior they had locked their keys in a car as well. Having had just went through the same thing a few days ago, they had all the needed tools to do a proper ‘break in.’ It took all of about 5 minutes and I was on my way.

…and now? I don’t dare leave the keys (or my phone) in the car when I get out!

But it leaves me wondering: How many people take their keys with them when they pump gas? It honestly is something I have never considered doing before this weekend.

Alaska, Friends

This Alaska

This Alaska place.

I have had a real strong love/hate relationship with it the past year or so. I love Alaska. I love Ketchikan. I love the rain and the beautiful sunny days and the busy summers and quiet winters. I do. But standing by as friends come and go never gets easy. Being stuck on an Island, a million and one miles away from the people you want to hang out with is a challenge in and of itself. You may only be a few thousand miles away -but it doesn’t matter. You are separated by oceans and lands and miles.

Making new friends has never been a strong suite of mine…so being stuck on an island while your friends move in and out of your life is, well, challenging.

I haven’t done much traveling this year, so being ‘stuck’ on the island has taken its toll.

Yes, I love Alaska. But sometimes…

When it takes you 30 minutes to make a 5 minute drive. When you have to stop and go a million times. When tourist literally jump out in front of your car and give you a brief heart attack. When you just want to go into a shop and not see a billion and one faces -many of who you know and many of who you don’t. When you just want a moment of peace -yet there is none to be found…

And then you go for a hike. Into the vast wilderness. The great unknown. The peaceful calmness of the mountains, the silence. The cool wind and the beautiful scenery. The friends.

When you stand in the mountains of Alaska…you feel so small. You realize just how big this world is and just how small you are. You realize just how small your town is, and the problems in it. You realize there is so much beauty -even in the smallness. You are reminded.

This place? This Alaska?

Is quite simply amazing.

Taking in a deep breath of fresh mountain air is sometimes the remedy that can make everything better again.

Alaska

Long Island

Perks to having pilot friends?  Seeing random islands from your childhood.

A few months ago my parents mentioned to one of my pilot friends that I was born on a little island not far from here.  Long Island, to be exact. (Alaska that is, not New York!)

Some 25 odd years ago, we left that little island and moved to Ketchikan for what I am told was going to be a “short stay.”  Yet here we are.  I don’t have many memories of the place -seeings how we left when I was around two, but a few days ago I got a text from my friend with these gems attached:

I’m told that’s where we flew into hundreds of times.  The place of my childhood.  Where my life began.  If you look closely you might even see the beach where we fished…just kidding.  I recognize none of it -but it was still pretty cool, you know – seeing that it does exist and all!